I have a family member who claims he can’t lose weight.
According to him, he’s tried “everything.”
Limiting belief?
No, but a close cousin.
The “I’ve tried everything” is just a freaking lie. A lie he tells himself, and by extension, the world.
You see, he’s tried “everything” within his predefined box of solutions. He has mentally created a Solution Box, a type of limiting belief based on stubbornness and avoidance.
What’s inside his box?
A pathetic collection of easy fixes: supplements, pills, and pharmaceutical drugs. His box is the path of least resistance.
And the solutions that actually work? The ones that demand effort and discipline? Things like diet and exercise?
Meh. Not even on his radar. Those are outside the box.
He only seeks solutions inside this tiny, self-constructed prison. By refusing to even look outside, he has handcuffed his decisions and made the real solution impossible to achieve.
What Solution Boxes have you created?
I can’t get healthy. Yet you refuse to change your diet, whether it’s the box of keto, paleo, vegan, carnivore, or vegetarian.
I can’t get out of debt. Yet you refuse to consider side-hustles, business partnerships, or finding a new job.
I can’t grow my business. Yet you refuse to use social media and engage the platforms where your customers congregate.
I don’t have money. Yet you refuse to upskill and turn your hourly wage rate from $15 an hour to $150 hour.
But as limiting as the Solution Box is, there’s a far more acceptable version that keeps you trapped. It’s a limiting belief promoted by culture. Media. Gurus and authorities. It’s the BOX that presages, selects, and determines behavior, and hence, all choices that follow: The box about who you think you are.
This is The Identity Box.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m an introvert. That’s my label. This self-assigned identity builds the walls of a very convenient box. Inside this box, I get a free pass to avoid things I don’t enjoy. I don’t like public speaking. I hate going on podcasts. I’m not a fan of YouTube videos or interviews.
The box tells me this is okay because, hey, I’m an introvert. It becomes a shield. An excuse. A get-out-of-jail-free card for staying put, for not testing comfort zones, and for letting fear win. The box gives me permission to avoid what needs to be done.
But I don’t let that freaking box define me.
I do podcasts. I do the interviews. Why? Because my purpose is greater than my comfort. My purpose is the GINSU that shreds the cardboard walls of that box.
— The Solution Box limits your options.
— The Identity Box limits you.
Both are symptoms of a fixed mindset, a prison where you sentence yourself to a life of stagnation—never growing, never evolving, and forever repeating the same patterns while expecting a different result.
Boxes serve one purpose: to contain and limit. When you put yourself in one, you contain and limit your growth. The real solutions remain quarantined.
See if any of these Identity Boxes sound familiar. I hear them constantly:
- “I have ADHD, so blah blah blah…”
- “I’m an introvert, so blah blah blah…”
- “I’m depressed, so blah blah blah…”
- “I’m not a person who reads books, so blah blah blah…”
- “I’m not a public speaker, so blah blah blah…”
- “I’m not someone who likes the gym, so blah blah blah….”
- “I’m not good at X.” (Of course you’re not. You never tried it for more than five minutes and quit when HARD shows up.)
- “I’m not a good writer, yada yada…”
- “I’m not an entrepreneur, yada yada.”
Your label is an excuse.
Your identity is an excuse.
Your box is an excuse.
Whether it’s a Solution Box that blinds you to the real answers or an Identity Box that tells you what you can’t become, the result is the same: PRISON.
GTFO of the box.
MJ DeMarco
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